Reinventing your exit

I'm starting to feel that i've become quite detached from expressing feelings through words. Not like im one who's really good with words , pardon me cos seriously im one who suck at expressing myself . Day by day i get a little weirder and a little more complicated. Likewise, i'm starting to look the part too. Wondering if im still me . Sometimes I really wish I could be young and stupid all over again . Still remember those days when i was younger , totally clueless about almost everything and dont give a damn to love , life and practically everything thats going on around me . All I know back then was to catch my favourite cartoons on time and to worship superheros like batman/wonder woman/ppg . Ridiculous much . But everything seems so idk , carefree ? Take now for instance , everything is becoming more intricate , guess its all part of the growing up ? The saying goes " You'll never know until you've experience it " . Maybe one day I'll learn to understand this whole aspect . And to respect the gift of life . I really wanna push all these thoughts aside cos it leads to nowhere but deeper thoughts and im really getting sick of it . This vicious cycle of thoughts running in my head is just so uncanny . But I really dont know what should I do to erase it and make it gone forever , I've tried so many ways to make myself a happier and bubbly person . I even overdose myself with sweets and chocos to increase sugar level and hopefully get a sugar rush and laugh my day through . But that is only temporary . And no I dont want to portray myself or make myself sound like a girl with a broken smile . I am not emo , neither am i suffering from depression . I just .... I just miss some good ol times thats never coming back . Is it wrong ?